The Best Borsts Best the Beast

Amie and Bethanie Borst are a mother-daughter duo who put fairy tales on their heads in the Scarily Ever Laughter series. You might remember them from their previous visit to the Blog Mansion about a year ago with their debut Cinderskella. Now they’re back with Little Dead Riding Hood.

Johnny: Sorry about the staff. They’re still the denizens of the Dark Portal in the basement. Disregard the screams for help coming from down there too.

Amie: It’s loud enough to make Splinters.

J: Yes, the Carters. You want to visit them?

A: No no.

J: Really? That’s a shame.

B: The staff looks disappointed.

J: Don’t worry. They’re big fans. Today’s lunch will be served by the vampires who’re happy to have you here.

Bethanie: I don’t see them.

J: Take off your mirrored sunglasses.

B: Oh. There they are.

J: Tell me about writing as a duo. This seems to be a thing lately and I can’t wrap my mind around it without thinking I’d need to wrap my hands around a neck.

B: It’s great! When I don’t want to work, I just pass it off on my mom.

Dark Portal in the Basement
Lasting a long time this year

Amie: What she means to say is that we work great as a team. Bethanie is very creative and dedicated. And she’s not afraid to make mistakes. That’s a perfect complement to my perfectionism which makes it difficult to make progress.

J: Speaking of necks, don’t let the staff give you a hickey. Just saying.

A: It looks like you speak from experience.

J: Actually those are from the succubi.

A: Those too?

J: Oh those are from teh tentacle monster in the hall closet.

A: Oh.

J: Scarlet Small now joins the ranks of Claudia (Interview with the Vampire), Abby (Let me In) and Eleanor (Byzantium) as a young female vampire. She seems to have a better sense of humor than these others though. Tell me about her.

B: She’s a forced vegetarian.

A: Kind of like me. Ticks are not your friend. The little vampires!

B: And she wears a fedora.

A: That’s true. It’s a character trait, just like her self-deprecating humor.

J: Werewolves are involved too?

B: Shhhhh…

A: The politically correct term is long-haired dog-people.

B: Mom. *rolls eyes*

J: I like werewolves. They’re excellent cooks. Try the bisque.

A: It’s got hair in it.

B: Lots of it.

J: (whispering) I wouldn’t mention it. They don’t take criticism well. Just taste it and say “Yummy” as loud as you can.

B: Yummy as loud as you can.

A: *coughs* I wonder if Ethan made this. *gags*

J: And then there’s grandma. I love Grandmas. I don’t have any left. Used them all up I guess, but I still like them. Tell me about the one in your book.

B: What do you want to know?

A: Let’s just say, some grannies aren’t everything they’re chalked up to be, if you know what I mean.

J: How is the writing scene in Virginia?

A: Beautiful. Mountainous. Green pastures. Oh wait. That’s probably not what you meant.

J: You know I placed a book there. My next one in fact, THE BRAND DEMAND, is coming from a publisher over there. Maybe we can tag-team. I’ll hound Jolly Fish Press here and you can lean on Cherokee McGhee for me there.

A: Sounds good.

J: Oh, no. that won’t work.

B: Why?

J: Uhm. Yeah… so how is it writing for middle grade?

A: We love writing for the middle-grade audience. It’s an exciting time for this age group. They’re learning who they are and discovering their place in the world, and yet they’re still innocent.

Agnes

J: Getting much play in schools?

A: We have! We’ve done Skype/virtual visits everywhere from Nebraska to Utah to New Jersey! I did a school visit locally just last week, too.

J: Agnes there used to be a teacher. Now she’s a free-floating apparition and can’t hold chalk. She’s good at clearing pipes though. Cleaned up a bad clog in the kitchen.

B:: Why are you telling me this?

J: Just trying to tell you that there are always new horizons our there.

A: Why do you need to tell us that?

J: Well say, just for example, that the denizens of the Dark Portal in the basement think that funny horror stories based on fairy tales are really cool.

B: They are.

J: Well, just say that down in the trans-dimensional space behind the Dark Portal there’s a dearth of writers of such tales and certain long fanged citizens of said domain were on a secret mission into our world to kidnap writers of such stories and drag them back behind the Dark Portal. Wouldn’t that be fun?

A: Sounds amazing.

J: Where on the internet can people in this dimension find out more about you guys?

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J: Well thanks for visiting. The staff will take you down the basement now for the tour.

B: But we don’t want to take the tour.

J: You don't want to see the Dark Portal?

A: We’ve seen it.

J: But not from the other side.

A & B: Actually Johnny, we have. *exposes fangs* That’s why we’re here! *Lunges for Johnny’s neck*