Brent Kelley is holding out on me

Brent Michael Kelley
is holding out me

My favorite Dark-Fantasy horror author Brent Michael Kelley returns to the Blog Mansion. You may remember the last time he came by he helped me cut coupons. This time, I show him some of my collections.

Johnny: This is the Lump Raising Rock of Thao.

Brent: And this?

J: That’s the Knee Joint Wrong-Bender of KIoppriiya.

B: I see. Is that an ashtray?

J: Yes it’s called The Spittle Dribbler of Bourffts. Guess what happens when you put cigarette out in it.

B: No.

J: Oh, don’t stand there. That’s the Wedgie Yanker of Mulooborg.

The Spittle Dribbler of Bourffts

B: Johnny. It’s not real.

J: What?

B: The Bleeding Jaws of Glughu. It’s not a real knife.

J: Sure it is. You’re just holding back. I need it. NEED IT for my collection.

B: You got an impressive display here, though. Those Star Wars figures are as awesome as my--

J: Give it to me.

B: Not a real thing. I can’t give it to you.

J: See that? That’s the Flatulence Inducer of Vopplianderscoop. You know what would look awesome beside it? The Bleeding Jaws of Glughu.

B: Do you believe everything you read?

J: I have internet.

B: Good point. So is the Bleeding Jaws of Glughu the only reason you brought me here?

J: No. Chuggie. I love Chuggie. He’s the ultimate sympathetic murdering fantasy anti-hero role model. I loved your first book. LOVED IT! Now Chuggie’s back in Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways! How’s he doing?

B: Drunk and surly as always. I don’t think he “murders” anybody in the new book, though. Or, wait, does he? I have to think about that.

J: What’s Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways about?

B: It’s five days after the events of Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater, and Chuggie’s got some work to do. He’s got some new ghost pals to torment, and his new bone dagger – the Bleeding Jaws of Glughu – is doing strange things. We also get to catch up with the sexy blade cultist, Fey Voletta. We get to meet Ree Priole, the wife of a slain guardsman from Stagwater. We meet Pazuel, a half-demon creature on a path of enlightenment. There’s a monster turtle, a volcano, some cleavermen. I think it’s a fun little adventure with lots of action and booze. Not a lot of nudity in this one, but I think we made up for it with sweet, sweet action. And if those weren’t enough reasons to buy yourself a copy, I’m donating half of my first year royalties to the American Cancer Society.

Bleeding Gums

J: Supporting bleeding gum research?

B: Chuggie's not for kids, and cancer shouldn't be either. If they can cure bleeding gums, so much the better.

J: You could just give me the knife. That'll stop it – for you anyway.

B: I'll stick with better brushing and cancer research.

J: What is Chuggie exactly?

B: Chuggie’s the embodiment of Drought on a world called Mag Mell. He doesn’t like being such a destructive force, though. A long time ago, he found that being good-an'-drunk helped quiet the preternatural thirst that screams in his head. Naturally, he decided to get good and tore back on booze, then put a curse of permanence on himself. Boom, problem partially solved. He’s semi-immortal, meaning that he can die. If he does, he’ll drown for a while and come back. That, of course, depends on if you believe his drunken rantings. Not everything he says is 100% reliable, as we’ve seen. He’s got two sisters, Flood and Wildfire, as well as a brother, Sickness. Will we get to meet one in Bleeding Gateways? I’m not saying.

J: Bleeding Gateways takes place right after Desecration of Stagwater. What’s up with that?

B: The Desecration of Stagwater opened up a can of monster-worms. When I finished writing it, I knew the events around there were just heating up. Chuggie’s story is only a part of the story of Mag Mell. This world is a monster-filled tinderbox, and there are plenty of folks running around stricking matches. Big, horrible things are on the horizon for Mag Mell.

J: How is it to write a sequel?

B: It’s definitely tricky. You need to keep a close eye on what you’ve done in the previous book. Luckily, I have a copy of Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater in my home for reference.  The only problem is getting it away from my wife! She LOVES that book. She reads it constantly and tells me how brilliant I am for writing it. On Opposite Day. I think the original plan was to write adventures for Chuggie that were all self-contained and not necessarily related. Once I got into that world, though, this sort of invisible geometry revealed a broader story with much higher stakes.

Butt Pincher of Zuyao

J: Invisible geometry... I get it. Have you found a genre yet? It’s not exactly fantasy. It’s not horror. It sure as hellfire isn’t for children. It’s not punk, country, rock-a-billy, classical, or boy-band. Where would a retentive bookstore clerk with a label maker put your Chuggie books?

B: I just call it Dark Fantasy. Maybe I should come up with a long-winded, pretentious genre of my own… Let’s see, just off the top of my head… Neo-Splat Black Fantasy Sci-fi Horror Revival Drugs. Or maybe something about Soup, I don’t know. I’m not one of these “creative” types that can just come up with original things at will. Sorry.

J: Don’t sit there. That’s the Butt Pincher of Zuyao. And that’s the Oozing Canker Sore of Sruuylto. That’s really a mean corner there, actually. Just keep to the middle of the room.

B: You mean stand under the Wedgie Yanker of Mulooborg? You just told me NOT to stand there.

Forgetting Crepes of Xazz

J: Did I? The Forgetting Crepes of Xazz must be working. I don’t remember saying that. Anyway, in the strange twisted demon-infested universe you’ve created, you have your share of magic items. Stagwater begins with none, just Chuggie and his anchor which is strange, but not cool like his later toys. What’s your thinking on magic items?

B: The trick is to come up with something unique. The goat face purse is fun to write about, because you go suicidally insane if you look inside. The Bleeding Jaws of Glughu has some surprises, too. Not every artifact can be magic, though. Some things can just be cool on their own. I’ll say this, powerful artifacts may come and go for Chuggie. He’ll always have that anchor.

Knee Joint Wrong-Bender of KIoppriiya

J: Can I have the Bleeding Jaws of Glughu?

B: The bloody juice of what now?

J: Please.

B: Do the Truffle Shuffle while I think about it.

J: Okay. Change of subject. You said before that Tom Waits was an inspiration for Chuggie. Is he again for Bleeding Gateways or have you found a new muse?

B: Chuggie will always be played by Tom Waits when I watch it play out in my head. I’ve thought of some other people that I think could play the role, though. Here’s some: Jeff Daniels, Woody Harrelson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Gary Oldman. Johnny Depp could probably do Chuggie justice, too.

Flatulence Inducer of Vopplianderscoop

J: You’re still a graphic designer right? Since you won’t give me the Bleeding Jaws of Glughu, can I have a picture?

B: Sure, if you can promise not to defile it.

J: I do what I want! What about the Goat Face Purse? Surely you don’t need that.

B: It’s at the cleaner’s.

J: Whatever.

B: I can tell you how to make your own if you promise not to let anyone look inside. Seriously, not ever.

J: It wouldn't be the same. I want yours. How is it being a published author? What can I expect? Beatrysel is coming in September.

Wedgie Yanker of Mulooborg

B: I hope you like money and fame, Johnny, because that’s what you’re about to get! After this we should head to the boat dealership and pick you out a jet-boat! If you don’t start spending that money now, you’ll be sorry later.

J: Babes? What about babes?

B: Oh, sure, there’s be plenty of babes. Beautiful ladies from around the world to massage your feet, fan you with palm fronds, feed you grapes. The whole bit. It’ll be fun for a while, but there’s a point where you’ll just want a peaceful moment screaming across the bay in your jet-boat without a flock of swimsuit models groping you. Everything in moderation, Johnny. Except psychedelic mushrooms, but I don’t have to tell YOU that! Ha!

Oozing Canker Sore of Sruuylto

J: No you don't. Have you gone to book signings and conferences? Have you been banned in Kansas yet? What about Texas?

B: I haven’t done much of that yet. I’m up in the woods, you see. Conventions happen far from here. I did a signing last fall at my old college, though. I hope to get back there again this fall. That’s where Chuggie first visited me, so I feel like every kid there should have a signed copy or two. I haven’t been banned in Kansas or Texas yet, but I’m working on it. The Westboro Hatist Church promises me I’m on their to-read list, but the gal couldn’t say how long until they’d get to it. I guess their stack is pretty deep at this point. Nice lady, though, and she assured me they’ll protest me as soon as humanly possible. Of course, that was two weeks ago. I’m resisting the urge to call and pester them about it because they’re the ones doing me the favor. I’d hate to upset somebody and get moved to the bottom of the pile!

J: Where on the Internet can my peeps find out more about you and all this?

Self-Slapper of Jhutt

WEB
FACEBOOK
TWITTER @Brent_M_Kelley
AMAZON
BARNES AND NOBLE

B Ouch. Crap. Ouch! What the hell?

J: You seem to have inhaled some of the Self-Slapper of Jhutt.

B: Was that what that was? Not cool. Maybe if I sit on my hands, it’ll--

J: Whoa! Whoa whoa. Ohhhh….Get up. Sorry. Looks like you stepped in the Ankle Sweller of Ooughy. That one takes a long time to wear off. Take your shoes off if you want to save them.

B: Why’th my thung tho big?

Tongue Embiggerer of Lugot

J: Tongue Embiggerer of Lugot. You must have looked at it.

B: Looked ath ith?

J: It’s all it takes sometimes. You should know that.

B: Athho thaoa Thewe Thrff, threastthft.

J: No need to get nasty.

B: Outh! I forgot. The Butt Pinther of Zuyao.

J: Yeah. That’ll bruise.

B: You thun uff a bith. I wanna cookie.

BEATRYSEL cover reveal - AWESOME!

I have some wonderful interviews on the way, exciting new authors taking their lives and careers into their own hands and offering them to me with a fork. But today I have to sing at the top of my lungs because I am happy as teenager with a stolen credit card and Dad's liquor.

Here's why.

This is the cover for my debut novel, BEATRYSEL. Look - there's my name on it and everything.

Isn’t it awesome? I know, right?!

Here’s another graphic, ideal for FaceBook banners and bookmarks. Feel free to take it. Post it on your profile, Twitter link it, give it to your loved ones. You’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo haven’t you?

At the very least, rejoice with me. If you’re an established writer, cast your feelings back to the time you saw your first cover. If you’re an unpublished author, let yourself imagine what it will feel like. It’s nothing like that, by the way, but it is still pretty cool. If you’re just a friend or voyeur, debt-collector or NSA snoop, you can still admire the art-work and swear on a stack of Bibles that you’re going to buy the book and read it because you know – KNOW, it’s an awesome book.

Square. Ideal for avatars

What a long strange trip it’s been, said a great man. And I’m on it, said I. BEATRYSEL was a twinkle of idea, an emotion without voice. A dark feeling. Just that. I coaxed it out and nurtured it, and gave birth to it in a hundred thousand words. Then off to the world, the cold unforgiving competitive world of publishing, in the fool’s hope that someone would appreciate my baby.

Along the way there have been certain definite waypoints: the inspiration, a particularly satisfying chapter that I had to share at the time with everyone. The first query. The first rejection. The first acceptance, meeting, and edits. And now, first seeing the completed cover. What an emotional ride. Prolonged, difficult, and strange.

In the coming weeks I’ll tell you more about my book, tease you into not only wanting to read it, but make it a spiritual imperative that you do.

But for now, join me in the delight of seeing my first book cover.

Front and Back

Sharpening Saws

As the summer draws to a close here in the Salt Lake Valley and the skies are brown orange with burning wildfires and the kids are complaining about itchy new clothes and regular sleeping schedules, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about saws.

I’ve been sharpening saws.

Fun fact: I learned once that the reason there are so few old saws in the world is not because they were stolen by Indians looking to start a saw mill, but because they’d be sharpened and sharpened again until nothing was left of them. Go to a Colonial woodshop, go on do it - and ask them about this. They’ll tell you the same. This is at once a nice example do thriftiness, but also of sacrifice.

Fun story: Two brothers decided to have a tree cutting competition in the forest, the beach being universally frowned upon for male tree-cutting competitions, though strangely, the female bikini tree-cutting competitions continue to be held on the beach to the is day. Anyway, the two brothers went out in the forest and went at it. The first brother went at the trees like he hated them. He cut and sawed and paced himself so his blade was never idol. At times, when he moved between trees, he’d notice the sound stop from his brother’s area and he smiled at his brothers laziness and cut down another. When the day was over, the brothers counted up the trees each had cut. The first brother had lots. The second brother, had even more.
    “What the?” he stammered. “How’d you…. But you didn’t…. Hey, wait a minute. How did you cut down so many? I heard you stop many times where I never did?”
    “You’re in the wrong story,” the brother told him. “This isn’t the tortoise and the hare.”
    The first brother scratched his head and bandaged his hands.

    “While you kept cutting all day, paced but steady,” the second brother said, “I took time off to rest and sharpen my saw.”
    Burn!

I’d been writing non-stop for months before the summer. Into it as well really. I had to get out and relax, sharpen my saw, you see. I was burning out and didn’t notice it, though the blistered fingers could have been a clue.

My first trip was to Bear Lake. Just four days with the extended family. Should have been plenty, but it took three days for me to relax enough to enjoy it. So it was really one day sitting on the beach digging gnats out of my mustache. Don’t ask.

The second trip was a stark road trip through Nevada along highways they make horror movies out of. We followed the the path of my protagonist in my newest horror, so it was fitting. A stop at Mountain Meadow, Donner Pass and Reno all together gave the bright summer sunshine a pall. It was a great trip though. Got a lot of ideas. Got a lot of thinking done. And since we left the kids behind, we could hang out in bars until the wee hours of the morning and then have a bellboy push us to our rooms in matching wheelchairs.

The last trip was sudden and last week. It should have been the most well planned since it’s to our traditional family cabin, but it wasn’t. We sold our interest in it many moons ago when Oregon called us to the wet coast. We get an occasional week and usually everyone’s pretty good at letting us get a week, but not this year. We had only a couple of weeks we could take and no one would give them up to us. My aunt however gave them to my cousin no problem, but luckily the cousin backed out and suddenly, and with only a day’s notice, we got to go to Flaming Gorge. Without internet I got some reading in and some quiet time. I taught my youngest to drive, ruptured both eardrums diving too deeply and had a dam fine tour of the a fine dam. Walks and humming bird swarms, steaks and just the nuclear family were all just what the doctor ordered.

One of the best pieces of advice I have too often ignored is to sharpen your saw and sometimes you just have to stop and do it. As a writer, it’s particularly important. I remember a writers conference a few years ago when a speaker suggested that every writer should take a day off every week to have a new experience. Go somewhere, visit someone, do something you’ve never done before. It sounded all hippie groovy at the time, vegan with chakras, so I liked it but alas, forgot it. The speaker was talking about first getting new experiences to draw from when writing, but even then I understood it to mean to continue to grow as a human being and recover your strength.

I didn’t think I needed a vacation. I thought my saw was sharp enough, but after an eventful summer of trips and bloody ears, I know I was mistaken.

But I’m back now. Sorry for the breaks in the blog posts, and the silences on Facebook, Twitter and late-night talk shows, but I needed the time more than I knew. With sharpened saw, waning summer and fresh ideas, I proceed into a very exciting time of my life, outlining a new book, and preparing for the launch of my debut novel, BEATRYSEL.

Isaiyan Morrison Kicks my Ass and Writes Cool Books

Isaiyan Morrison
kicks my ass and writes books

Paranormal author and professional video-gamer Isaiyan Morrison drops by the Blog Mansion to play some games and tell me what the Navy has to do with the supernatural.

Johnny: Well how does it?

Isaiyan: It doesn't.

J: Was that a big deal for you, serving in the Navy?

I: Honestly. Not really. It wasn't something I gave a lot of thought to. I just walked in one day with my brother who was trying to join, looked at the brochures, and then said I wanted to do it as well.

J: Is that where you learned to hadoken?

I: No, but it's where I learned to drink heavily.

J: Shit, that was quick. How’d you do that combo?

I: Mind games my dear Johnny. It's all mind games.

J: Video games aren't my forte. So you just don’t smash the buttons? It always worked for me before.

I:  It's important to me and the health of my precious digits to not mash on those buttons, even though the game somewhat allows you too.

J: You’ve traveled quite a bit, Minnesota, Navy, San Diego, Los Angeles, Minnesota again and now Texas. What are you running from?

I: I think the question should be, where am I running to!

J: A verbal dodge to parrallel your game dodge. I thought forsure I was going to get  you with that.

I: Don't telegraph your moves so much.

J: So your first novel Deamham is coming out soon from Rainstorm Press. Tell me about it.

I: Oh yes. Novel time! Let me just get this last hit in before I put down my controller.

J: Is that my spleen?

I: I think so. Deamhan is about a woman, Veronica, who goes back to Minnesota to find the truth about her mother's disappearance. The only thing she knows is that her parents worked for a secret organization in Minneapolis at the time of the disappearance and her father has remained tight lipped about it. When she starts to retrace her mother's footsteps, she realizes that her mother was tracking a Deamhan and to find this Deamhan, she has to head into their dark and dangerous world.

J: What are you doing to promote you book Deamham?

I:  I'm currently planning a blog book tour with Bewitching Books. The dates are to be determined. Like every author out there, I'm spamming away the website to my novel but with care. I don't want to over spam anyone.  I'm currently planning Giveaways that don't include hand-me-down items.  I'm thinking about maybe gift cards, kick ass book marks, kindle sleeves, and *gasp* a free Kindle! Not sure when I want to do this so if you're interested, just be sure to like and follow my Facebook page. What I can tell you is that I'm a generous, generous person.

J: You had short stories published first right?

I: Yes. I've had short stories published in online zines, some of which have totally disappeared from the internet. I used to write nothing but short stories but recently my mind can't seem to stop writing after I've reached that 2,000 word limit. So for now, I've placed writing short stories on the back burner.

J: How do you find time to play video games?

I: I give myself roughly two hours to play daily. Well, that depends if there's a game I'm interested in at the moment. When I was sponsored, I played about six hours a day. Nowadays, two hours satisfy my daily craving for hadokens, dragon punches, and shooting zombies. There are some days I don't play at all.

J: Tell me about being a professional video gamer and can we change the difficulty setting?

I: It sounds like a gamer's dream but in reality, it's hard work and can be tiring. I was sponsored by Madcatz (madcatz.com) and part of their fighting game division. There were times when I'd fly out for the weekend to an event, get back on Monday, then Wednesday I was on another plane headed to another event. Instead of playing for fun, you have to learn the game's mechanics and put them to good use. You also had to deal with others who challenged you for your spot. At that time I was considered the top female Street Fighter player in the US and one of the top female players in the world, but I never saw myself that way. It's a silly title. I just liked playing, always have, and apparently I was good at it. But in the end I felt like it was no longer a hobby, but a job and I had to decide. Either I continue this hobby or I get back on track and start writing again. I chose writing. I still attend tournaments but not as much as I used to. I'm slowly taking baby steps away from that environment. Writing is taking up a lot of my time and I have no regrets.

Oh and no. We won't change the difficulty setting.

J: Put down the controller and tell me what do you like about vampires and werewolves?

I: As for vampires, I like the idea of immortality and how, in reality, nothing that exists in truly immortal. While vampires have strengths that no human can match, they also have weaknesses that make them delicate. I like reading about what they have to do to survive more than why they're suddenly in love with some chick and have this urge to have sex with her rather than eat her. Some vampires kill, kill, kill, while others have what we'd like to think of as moral judgment and the knowledge of right and wrong. But when you have to kill to survive, how could anyone live 100 plus years with that?
    As for werewolves I also like the idea of being able to transform either on the full moon (or at will in some cases) and what's it's like for raw animal nature to take over. We all know what happens and can happen when humans do things without a conscience but what is it like for a creature with a basic human conscience.

J: I lost. Again. You weren’t even holding the controller.

I: My mind games are just too godlike.

J: Tell me about Spheres. It’s a serial right? Are you doing it yourself.

I: Sphere is a serial novel released in episodes ranging between 15,000-18,000 words. It follows Tayla, a teenager girl who suddenly finds out that she's descended from Carriers, humans who have gifts that are powered by their spheres. She finds out that her gift is the strongest and the most dangerous gift a Carrier can have. She also finds herself involuntarily stuck in the middle of an upcoming war between Dark Carriers, those who use their gifts for bad, and Light Carriers, those who use their gifts for good. In the end she has to choose a side.
    As a writer, I wanted to go out of my comfort zone. Deamhan is more for 18+ so I wanted to write something for ages 18 and under. I guess we call that "young adult" now.
    But anyway, I started experimenting and that's how Sphere came around. At first it was a long novel and I had a hard time keeping it straight. When I broke it into a serial, it suddenly pulled together like magic. Besides this being my first time tapping into the young adult market, it's also the first time I've self published something like this.
    Right now the first episode, "Sphere. The Carriers," is available on Amazon for only .99 cents. The second episode titled "Sphere. The Bond, Episode Two" will be available August 7th on Amazon as well.

J: What are you adding to the paranormal genre? How are your vampires and werewolves different?

I: 10 years ago when I started brainstorming about Deamhan, I began to read about vampires. I realized that there were different types of vampires than just bloodsuckers. I didn't understand for the life of me why authors didn't explore that. To me, it's untapped, so I wanted to dive into it. After a few years I picked eight different type of vampires to include in my novel with the common bloodsucker being one of them (along with shadow vampires and yes, these exist in lore.) In Deamhan I've only exposed four of them: blood drinkers and three types of psychic vampires.
    I promised myself that my vampires, Deamhan, would be mean, dark, and uncaring. I would try to stick as close as possible to "vampire basics" like avoiding sunlight, staking. The only vampires I've found while researching that have sharp teeth are blood drinkers so I included that while the other 3 clans don't have sharp teeth because, again, they're psychic vampires. They don't feed on blood to survive.
    However, I struggled with the notion of humanity and how or if it could exist after one person is turned.
    I prefer not to read about romance and vampires. I understand the interest but for me, vampires are dark creatures. They don't cry about their existence, they kill to survive, and they like it. Can they love? Well apparently they can in most vampire novels today. There's nothing wrong with that. However, they are dark creatures, demons, whatever, and they still need to retain that. I don't think vampires would spend their eternity in high school but I think vampires would spend their eternity stalking their next victims. Writers need to give them their balls back, seriously.
    My Deamhan have balls. Big balls to be precise.

J: Where on the web can my people find you?

Website and blog - http://isaiyanmorrison.com
Facebook page - http://facebook.com/isaiyanmorrison
Twitter - http://twitter.com/isaiyanmorrison
Publisher - Rainstorm Press - http://rainstormpress.com

    If you want to read up more on Deamhan including character profiles and Deamhan clans, you can also visit the website to my novel, http://www.deamhan.com.
    Each week I revealed important characters in the novel. With the second book in the Deamhan Chronicles currently being edited, I'll start up again soon with more character reveals.
    I'm also on Goodreads, BookLikes, Shelfari, but I don't want to clutter this interview with links.

J: Okay. We’re changing. I didn’t even get a hit in.

I: What do you want to play?

J: Let’s see, what was the last video game I beat my kids at? Ah. Here we go.

I: What’s that?

J: Pajama Sam!

Susan Dorsey, local history, books, hairdressers and ghosts

Susan Dorsey
Author, Local Historian
drinks Martinis

Thriller writer Susan Dorsey drops by the Blog Mansion for a tour of some local history and book talk.

Johnny: Over there is where a group of survivalist separatists holed up in a bunker demanding their new nation of “Burtberg” be recognized.

Susan: What happened?

J: They came out after six months. No one had noticed they were gone. They sold their arsenal a the Crossroads of the West Gun Show and blew the whole wad and hookers and cocaine over a weekend.

S: Colorful.

J: There’s a story in there somewhere. Is that where ideas for your stories? Local history?

Burtberg

S: I do get a lot of my story ideas from local history.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived in East Tennessee all my life.  We have a ton of cool stuff that went on around here, most of which I never learned in school.  I had to find out on my own that Hernando De Soto visited an island where I often take my kids to the park.  I had to read and discover that Confederate General Longstreet chased Union General Burnside up the road that runs behind my house one hundred and fifty years ago.  I had to learn from family research that the dark-skinned group of people known as Melungeons predated the “English” settlers in this area.  Sorry, I’m starting to get carried away.  East Tennessee is fascinating to me, but I’m equally sure that where you and your readers live is just as interesting.  All you have to do is dig a bit under the surface and see what you find.

J: How do you go about doing local history research?

S: Read anything and everything you can get your hands on.  Google your town. You’d be amazed at what you find.  Talk to older people, little old ladies, and librarians. 

J: So four books, about a hairdresser - A Civil Death (2011), A Discriminating Death (2012), A Haunted Death (2013) and Death's A Drag (2013). Really?

S: Really. Who better to be involved in everyone else’s business?  I worked in a salon for several years doing nails.  Let me tell you, your hairdresser knows everything that’s going on in your town.  You can’t imagine the stories I’ve heard! Honestly, when I left the salon, I should’ve just skipped writing and gone straight to extortion. 

J: Tel me about Jane Brooks? Is she like you?

S: Jane is a little like me.  Mostly we share bad hair experiences. 

J: Oh look there. That’s where a dog chased two Mormon Missionaries up a tree for six hours.

S: Six hours?

J: It was a mean dog and there are a lot of missionaries. Don’t you have them in Knoxville Tennessee?

S: Oh, I need to borrow your dog.  True story – I hardly ever nap, but two weeks ago, I was exhausted at three in the afternoon.  I settled in on the couch and had just drifted off to sleep when the doorbell rang. You guessed it. Missionaries. Now, I don’t much care what anyone else believes about God.  I figure that is their business, not mine.  I would’ve been equally angry with any group that came to the door that day.  Still, I was polite as I told them to leave. That’s what Southerners do. We’re polite until we stab you to death.

J: It’s the Bible Belt right? How does that effect your writing?

S: I think it effects everything down here.  Like I said, I don’t much care what other people believe about God. It does seem that a large part of the population in my neck of the woods doesn’t feel the same way.  People here very much care that you believe the same as they do.

J: You have a recurring gay characters. Tell me about that. Have you gotten any flack for that?

S: Despite the bad rap the Bible Belt gets, I honestly haven’t had any open criticism of my gay characters. It might be offensive to some people, but if so, no one has called me out on it. I never intended my gay characters to be a special because of their orientation. Rodney and John are just gay.  It’s no more of an issue than the fact that Jane is straight. 

J: Give me your pitch for your newest book, A Haunted Death.

S: Jane doubted she’d see a spirit at a paranormal investigation in a client’s haunted barn, but she never dreamed she’d see a ghost. The police ruled that the Ghost Hunter died from natural causes, but Jane and her fellow hairdresser Rodney must determine if they are being haunted by a ghost or hunted by a human. Jane must discover the truth about what happened in the barn before she becomes a corpse herself.  She may find that some secrets are better left buried.

J: Cool. How’d you get into writing?


S: I’ve written stories since I was a kid in elementary school. My Dad recently found two of my earliest works and mailed them to me.  One story was called “The Chartreuse Piglet.” The second story was titled “The Rotten Tomato.” The piglet ended up being evil and the tomato somehow ended up in heaven. 

J: How hard was it to get your first book in print?

S: Very hard. Gut wrenching, blood sweating, hard. I sent it to everyone I could find. I got more rejections than I could count. Finally, an indie press picked it up. The second book was easier to sell.  I actually had a couple of offers for it, and even more for the third.  It helps tremendously to have a body of work listed in a query letter.  My advice to writers just starting out is to keep writing and keep submitting to everyone that will give you the time of day.

J: Amen. You have little kids? How do you find time to write?

S: I don’t! At least I don’t during summer break.  It’s just been too chaotic to stick to a schedule.  I do have a regular writers group that I meet with every week, so that’s helped me keep on track with some editing. My real creative work is going to just have to wait till the school bell rings this fall.

J: Where on the internet can people find out more about you?

WEBSITE
BLOG - wordsmith
BLOG - blogspot
FACEBOOK
TWITTER:  @SDorseyBooks
AMAZON
ABERDEEN BAY
RAINSTORM

J: Here’s a monument to the terrible Fire Ant invasion of 2013. I was there. What’s the best local history/Knoxville story you know?

S: It’s hard to find a historical site that serves really good martinis.  This is one of my favorite stories and places in Knoxville.  I think this bit of history shows the true nature of Knoxville during the Civil War.  East Tennessee did not blindly follow the rest of the state’s Confederate leanings. A lot of people here were Unionists at heart.  The city of Knoxville changed hands repeatedly during the war.  Loyalties were divided and brother truly fought brother here.
                  There is an old house on Kingston Pike in Knoxville called the Baker Peters House. It currently is home to the Baker Peters Jazz Club. It was originally the mansion home of Dr. James Harvey Baker. Some say that Dr. Baker was a Confederate sympathizer while others claim he maintained neutrality during the war. What is not in dispute is the fact that his son Abner joined the Confederate army and marched off to fight the Union.
                  While Abner was away, Dr. Baker used his home as a makeshift hospital for wounded Confederate soldiers.  Union soldiers discovered his treachery, broke in, and shot him to death.
Abner returned from the front to find his father dead and rumors that the postmaster, William Hall, had reported his father to Federal forces. Abner shot and killed William Hall. The commemorative marker at the front of the Jazz Club today praises him for his “courage and loyalty to his family.”
                  If you step inside the restaurant, you’ll be greeted by a host or hostess.  If you ask nicely and you’re lucky, they’ll show you a doorway marred with bullet holes made by Federal guns.  If you’re really, really lucky, they’ll show you a photo of the ghost of Abner.  You can see him looking in the front window of the restaurant before you make your way upstairs to order one of the best martinis in Knoxville. 

J: I don't buy it. Martinis in Tennessee? Come on... it's the south....

Mint Julep

Ann Marie Meyers goes Up in the Air with me.

Anne Marie Meyers
Goes Up in the Air

Anne Marie Meyers and I pushed off the hill at 7:30AM in a tandem paraglider. The morning thermals swiftly picked up the wing and lifted us high in over the suburban landscape below. We could see traffic streaming like ants on the freeway below and hear the wind rustling in the canopy.

Johnny: Wow! This is great. I’ve never done this before. We’re flying!

Ann: What? You’ve never done this before?

J: No.

A: I haven’t either.

J: But you wrote a book about flying. I assumed you knew how to paraglide.

A: You assumed wrong.

J: I told them you were an expert. They’d have never let me have the sail without a qualified pilot.

A: Nope. First time. I thought you knew how to fly.

J: Oh.

A: Oh.

The breeze sent us back over the hill in slow rotating spirals, ever higher.

J: Nice day though.

A: Yeah. It’s a good day to die.

J: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’re flying.

A: Yes, that’s nice.

J: So you’re telling me you did no practical research into your book, Up In The Air?

A:  Um, well, I mean, uh… whaaaat?

J: What’s it about?

A: Oh, well (whew), I can answer that. Up In The Air is about a girl named Melody who has dreamed of flying since forever! When she lands in the mystical realm of Chimeroan and gets the wings of her dreams, she thinks life is finally going her way. Yet, even with wings, Melody soon finds our how wrong she is and that it’s impossible to ‘outfly’ her past. She is still traumatized by the car accident that left her father paralyzed, without leaving even a trace of a scar on her; and she blames herself for the accident. In Chimeroan, Melody is forced to come to terms with her part in her father's accident, and in the end she is faced with a dilemma: to choose between the two things that have become the world to her: keeping her wings or healing her father.

J: What are the challenges of writing for Middle Grade?

A:  When I realized that I wanted to start writing for children, I read a lot of middle grade books. I was surprised at the variety that interested kids nowadays. In my day, the Bobsey Twins did the trick for me. But now twelve-year old children (even younger) are into The Hunger Games, Twilight, Harry Potter. I had to completely reinvent the wheel, so to speak, and open my mind to what would interest a child between 8-12 years old.  Story content, I think, is one of the major challenges, and there is a much wider range of genres children are reading nowadays. The other challenges, such as coming up with a dynamic, page-turning plot, finding the right tone, etc. etc. usually falls into place once the story idea is known.

J: Is it all content and vocabulary or do you see other differences between books aimed at a younger age group than adults?

A: There has to be a certain sensibility when writing for a younger age group. This can certainly come from reading as many Middle Grade books as possible, of course. However, having some understanding about the younger generation, the ways in which they differ from, and are similar to, us when we were that age, their aspirations and the influences (eg: socially, technologically) that affect them will only serve to make books for kids more poignant and enjoyable.

J: Is Melody more like you or your daughter?

A: Melody isn’t like either of us (unless… do you mean if Melody’s wings are the same color as mine?)

J: Your book is in the first person present tense. Did you have problems with your editor about the verb tense?


A: Actually, no. That was never an issue.  


J: Tell me these vultures are taking advantage of the thermal we’re on and aren’t just waiting for us to crash to eat our bodies.

A: They have their eyes on you, Johnny. Can you just shift over a bit please? More. Much better.

J: I understand your book is being marketed to educators. Tell me about that.

A: I’m not sure that is specifically the case, though I am planning to visit schools and chat with the kids. I did go to one school several weeks ago and I read to a Grade 4 class. I loved it!! The kids asked me questions I hadn’t thought of, and forced me to dig deeper into Up In The Air and look at the story from different angles. You should have seen their eyes light up when I told them what the book was about.

J: How closely did you work with your illustrator?

A: Not closely at all. I initially gave some suggestions as to what I thought would be a good image for an illustration in each chapter, and left the rest to the illustrator, Ethan Aldridge. I believe he worked with Jolly Fish Press towards the final product.

An American Airlines 707 flew past and sent us spiraling downward.

J: Pull that string.

A: This one? What does it do?

J: I don’t know. Maybe something.

We fell faster, this time counter-clockwise.

A: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Heeeeeellllllp!

J: I’ll pull the other.

We leveled off heading west.
J: So where are you from?

A: (Pant, pant)  Tri-Tri-Trinidad.

J: That’s right. Up in the Air is being released Internationally. That’s cool. How does that work?

A: Well I’ll be holding a book launch (and readings) in Toronto as well as in Trinidad.

J: That works. How many languages do you speak?

A: French, Spanish, English and a bit of Chinese (Mandarin). I’ve actually lost most of my Chinese as I don’t practice. But it was such an interesting language to learn.

J: Are you translating Up In The Air into those?

A:  No!! It’s best for a native speaker in the target language to do the translation.

J: Tell me about getting published. What was your journey to publishing?

A:  Months and years of writing and rewriting ad infinitum. Rejections were the hardest to take. They definitely took my ego down several hundred steps or so. I don’t know what I would have done without the writers groups I belonged to. Their support and encouragement were invaluable. But you know something, all those years spent creating new stories, rewriting and revising have given me a confidence that I didn’t have when I first started out. I know that, no matter what, I have the ability to develop new stories and stick with them until they are ready, regardless of the loops and challenges the characters throw at me.

J: It’s getting cold.

A: The sun’s going down.

J: We’ve been up here a long time. I think we’re getting lower. Where on the internets can my peeps find you, you know, to send flowers and all that.

A: I love flowers. ☺

Blog
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Pinterest

Shortly after dusk, we find ourselves streaking across a rooftops and trees. Anne Marie fell asleep somewhere over the wastelands.

J: Wake up Ann Marie. We're landing.

A: Oh? Good. Thank goodness.

J: We just have to make it over this next rise.

A: What's that sound?

J: The ocean.

A: With ocean winds?

We're wafted high above an ocean. I think it's the Pacific, but I don't know. We're sent higher than we we ever.

J: Crappy way to end the interview, but approapriate, don't you think.

A: Up in the Air?

J: Quite.

Daniel Ribot - of vampires, Big Brothers and drone strikes

Daniel Ribot
man of the world, writer of vampires.

My head is spinning with new revelations about the NSA, Big Brother in the USA. In England, where Big Brother was conceived, they call it GCHQ because people might remember 1984 as something other than an Olympic year. These domestic spying tactics all originated in the practices of the early Soviet Union. What do all these things have in common? Vampires of course.

English author Daniel Ribot, author of the new horror thriller VAMPSOV visits me in an undisclosed location to discuss politics, secret police and vampires.

Johnny: What do you think of all the internet spying going on?

Daniel: The growth of the surveillance society has concerned me off and on for a long time. The Internet is just the most modern tool used of both government and corporate intrusion against us (George Orwell, Philip K Dick and J.G. Ballard among others were riffing on this theme a generation ago). Sure, the way our lives have become entwined with online data networks have accelerated this process, but despite this I am an optimist. The Soviets and Chinese in the postwar era built the most sophisticated state control apparatus using no computers; just typewriters, card index files, string and rubber bands. Today they seek to maintain the same levels of surveillance but, despite the surveillance cameras, computers, satellites and other technical advances, they find it a lot harder to control their populations. So I think the jury's out on that one. I think the Internet may indeed end up as just another method of control but for now at least, it also helps people to come together and resist oppression and even overthrow governments – as happened in North Africa in the recent revolutions.

J: That's enough optimism for now. What’s your book about?

D: Ah, good question! It's about a group of disparate characters who unite to deal with a dangerous threat. The twist is that these are Russian Communists (committed Stalinists at that) fighting against vampires. It is also more specifically the story of Ludmilla, my main character, a woman whose view of the world is based on certainties; about nature, politics, ethics, relationships, love. Slowly these certainties are taken away from her and she develops a more nuanced view of life –  with all the messy contradictions that that brings with it. In terms of themes It is also a book about the monstrous and inhuman, about how you make sense of humanity's capacity for great cruelty as well as great kindness.

J: Your book is set in a political powder keg of Stalinist Russia. What advantages and disadvantages did you find setting your story then and there?

D: The great thing about writing historical fiction (even historical fiction with vampires in) is that it gives you a framework on which to hang your story. Events happen in a certain time and place, so you have 'markers' around which to weave your plot. For example my novel is set during the time that Hitler's territorial expansion is beginning to step up a gear. Interventions in Spain, the invasion of Austria,  annexation of the Sudetenland, etc. help build up a sense of impending doom for the Russians, who know that Hitler and his allies will soon move against them. Another advantage is that you can, with a very few brush strokes, paint a picture of a particular scene. Readers have their own images of what life was like in various times past (particularly the more recent). Once you know what cars people drove, the cigarette brands they smoked, some of the foods they ate in the period, it is much easier to set the scene in a manner most readers will accept as authentic. The flip side of it all is that a) you need to do your research (particularly as many readers are very knowledgeable about their history). And b) You always need to keep in mind that history is contested, that – particularly in the case of VAMPSOV – there are many victims of Stalinist repression and their relatives who may think I'm are making light of their tragedy or mocking them. I have been conscious of my responsibility to show the reality of life under the regime and I have done my very best to show it in its all its awful truth, given the proviso that I'm writing fiction – and vampire fiction at that. HAKDI GHEQ AHYE AIIA AGUWY GHGGE AGWBH MABNV QAHHD

J: Sorry. I lost the last of that. The scrambler frequency slipped. I think it’s fixed now.

D: Ha! Decadent Western technology. Always needs fixing...

J: Do your vampires don't sparkle do they?

Undisclosed location

D: My vampires sparkle only when they've spent the night in a Siberian snowstorm and the light of the moon twinkles on the snow and frost crystals that cover them. Even then, however, they sparkle less than the eyes of proletarian children when they dream of the eventual triumph of Socialism.

J: How do you see VAMPSOV affecting the vampire genre?

D: Perhaps all that VAMPSOV wants to say has been said already, I don't know. From Lincoln, Vampire Hunter to Jasper Kent's Twelve (a vampire novel set in 19th century Russia), many writers – often better than I – have tried to add historical depth to the genre. I aspire to that tradition and hope that VAMPSOV can help promote the diversity and versatility of the vampire myth beyond romance and teen angst. Not that those are bad things, of course.

J: What were your inspirations for VAMPSOV?

D: The novel is based on a set of rambling ideas and conversations about vampires, history and politics. The nub of my contention was that vampires, associated as they are with hierarchy, order  and aristocracy, would be the natural allies of fascists and Nazis. Add to that the shared aesthetic of  blood, soil, youth and black leather and it all starts to sound a wee bit plausible. The modern tendency in popular culture (Buffy, Tru Blood, Twilight etc) to prettify the vamps to the point where they could pass for Leni Riefenstahl's Aryan archetypes, added fuel to this conceit. After I'd made this  connection, all I needed (as all novels do) was conflict. Who would be the natural enemy of vampires if they sided with the Nazis? Why, uncle Joe Stalin, of course! So that was the genesis of it all.

J: Are you afraid that your book will be seen as a subversive text and put you on an enemy watch list?

D: I'd be happy if it was. The more subversion the better in my opinion. As governments are run by bloodsuckers any way, I'm sure they'll hate it!

J: Someone said at a party that you have dealings with Basque Separatists, but i put them right. I said you were really working for Catalan Nationists. Do they pay well?

D: No. Catalans are notoriously tight fisted, I should know because my family is Catalan and... What? You were at a party? And no invite? Those pesky Basques! ...

J: You speak English, Spanish, French and Catalan? How do you explain speaking so many languages if not for spying purposes?

D: Well, I have had to do a lot of travelling in my life. At the moment I'm Germany working, so I get to pick up these things. Otherwise you'd be really stuck!

J: You’re among friends here. No body reads my blog.

D: Except the NSA and GCHQ.

J: Oh. Right. Do like tea or coffee?

D: Tea. Milk. No sugar or sodium pentahol. Polonium if you have any, thanks!

J: How did you get into writing?

D: About five years ago I returned to my English home town of Leicester at a bit of a loose end. My professional life was going nowhere, I had to move in back with my parents due to lack of money, all the friends I'd had had moved away... In that rut I thought I might as well do something creative with my time, so I signed up for courses at the local Writing School. By chance or design, Leicester has the best of these institutions in the UK outside of a university. I got to meet some inspirational people and try my hand at all sorts of genres, styles and formats. Luckily, I found my voice as a writer fairly quickly and as I started to write more and more, ideas and plotlines began appearing in my head. After two years I'd writen my first novel. It wasn't very good, but I'd proved to myself that I could handle a novel length narrative and taught me a lot of lessons I was to use later in Vampsov.

J: I’m always interested in the author’s journey from writer to published author. Tell me yours:

D: The journey from writer to published author was a long and tortuous one. My main problem in finding a publisher was that I lacked the craft to bring about my vision to a reader. Obviously most editors and agents have a pretty shrewd idea of when a writer is ready to publish and more importantly, what readers want. It took me years to get there, it took a lot of hard work. And I don't think I'm the best writer I could be even now. My journey has brought many obstacles (harsh critiques, rewrites, edits, reflections and the erasing of numerous scenes, characters and pipe dreams that cluttered my plotting and story-lines), but I've also  made a lot of friends along the way. They all deserve their share of credit for this too. Even now I've got here, there's still so much to learn about the writing game, dammit!

J: How’s been your relationship with Omnium Gatherum?

D: My relation to Omnium Gatherum is really about my relationship with the editor supremo, Kate Jonez (author of Candy House). She has taken VAMPSOV through two major edits with patience, insight and belief in the eventual success of the novel that I found both energizing and incredible. In a sense Kate acted just like I'd been told old-school editors did before the world changed and traditional publishing (supposedly) died. Kate had faith in my novel from its early drafts and helped me every step of the way to make their book the best it could be. She helped make an author out of me. That's what Kate did for me and I will always be grateful.

J: Who, besides me, are your favorite authors?

D: Writers I admire apart from Johnny Worthen? Gosh... Well I'm an SF and fantasy buff at heart so I love the works of J. G. Ballard, Michael Moorcock, Kurt Vonnegut, Philip K Dick, Kim Stanley Robinson, Ursula Le Guin, Adam Roberts, China Mieville, Kim Newman, Graham Joyce and others. I'm also a fan of Latin American writing, particularly Borges, Garcia Marquez, Carlos Fuentes and Carmen Boullosa. At present I'm on a Will Self and Roberto Bolaño kick, reading everything I can from both of them. In terms of the vamp genre, I love Laurel K Hamilton's series and Justin Cronin's The Passage.

J: What are your internet addresses so people without NSA database access can learn more about you?

WEBSITE http://floppybootstomp.wordpress.com
TWITTER @Daniel_Ribot
AMAZON
OMNIUM GATHERUM

J: Is that a cell phone? You brought a cell phone into my “undisclosed location?!”

D: What’s that siren?

J: Early warning drone strike alarm. Nice knowing you Daniel.