Autumn morning in November

It’s getting worse. It’s gaining speed. Faster and faster. Inexplicable momentum. Time rushes by me. A moment and then another. Yesterday I was there and that, now it’s this. Here’s a fresh memory but numbered years ago.

Leaves litter the lawn. The tree is so tall, so many leaves. When did they,.. how. When did it get so big?

The days are cooling where last week it was summer, hot and sandy at a beach in Laguna. Grandma there. Aunts that no longer visit. Can’t. Dead now for years.

One holiday no longer bleeds into another. They flash like a strobe light. No time to anticipate, less to enjoy. Here and gone to the next. A gravity fed ride down down down to the end where we all go.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New year. Another year. Turn clocks forward and back. It doesn’t help. The rush, the speed, the minutes seconds, the days moments.

I don’t want to be immortal, I just want the time to slow a little, to let me catch my breath, let me breath, smell the perfumes, linger and pause. Pause. Now is okay. Let this be a while. Now. Now is not too much, is it?

It’s gone.