Johnny: Sorry about the staff. They’re still the denizens of the Dark Portal in the basement. Disregard the screams for help coming from down there too.
Amie: It’s loud enough to make Splinters.
J: Yes, the Carters. You want to visit them?
A: No no.
J: Really? That’s a shame.
B: The staff looks disappointed.
J: Don’t worry. They’re big fans. Today’s lunch will be served by the vampires who’re happy to have you here.
Bethanie: I don’t see them.
J: Take off your mirrored sunglasses.
B: Oh. There they are.
J: Tell me about writing as a duo. This seems to be a thing lately and I can’t wrap my mind around it without thinking I’d need to wrap my hands around a neck.
B: It’s great! When I don’t want to work, I just pass it off on my mom.
|Dark Portal in the Basement|
Lasting a long time this year
J: Speaking of necks, don’t let the staff give you a hickey. Just saying.
A: It looks like you speak from experience.
J: Actually those are from the succubi.
A: Those too?
J: Oh those are from teh tentacle monster in the hall closet.
B: She’s a forced vegetarian.
A: Kind of like me. Ticks are not your friend. The little vampires!
B: And she wears a fedora.
A: That’s true. It’s a character trait, just like her self-deprecating humor.
J: Werewolves are involved too?
A: The politically correct term is long-haired dog-people.
B: Mom. *rolls eyes*
J: I like werewolves. They’re excellent cooks. Try the bisque.
A: It’s got hair in it.
B: Lots of it.
J: (whispering) I wouldn’t mention it. They don’t take criticism well. Just taste it and say “Yummy” as loud as you can.
B: Yummy as loud as you can.
A: *coughs* I wonder if Ethan made this. *gags*
J: And then there’s grandma. I love Grandmas. I don’t have any left. Used them all up I guess, but I still like them. Tell me about the one in your book.
B: What do you want to know?
A: Let’s just say, some grannies aren’t everything they’re chalked up to be, if you know what I mean.
J: How is the writing scene in Virginia?
A: Beautiful. Mountainous. Green pastures. Oh wait. That’s probably not what you meant.
J: You know I placed a book there. My next one in fact, THE BRAND DEMAND, is coming from a publisher over there. Maybe we can tag-team. I’ll hound Jolly Fish Press here and you can lean on Cherokee McGhee for me there.
A: Sounds good.
J: Oh, no. that won’t work.
J: Uhm. Yeah… so how is it writing for middle grade?
A: We love writing for the middle-grade audience. It’s an exciting time for this age group. They’re learning who they are and discovering their place in the world, and yet they’re still innocent.
A: We have! We’ve done Skype/virtual visits everywhere from Nebraska to Utah to New Jersey! I did a school visit locally just last week, too.
J: Agnes there used to be a teacher. Now she’s a free-floating apparition and can’t hold chalk. She’s good at clearing pipes though. Cleaned up a bad clog in the kitchen.
B:: Why are you telling me this?
J: Just trying to tell you that there are always new horizons our there.
A: Why do you need to tell us that?
J: Well say, just for example, that the denizens of the Dark Portal in the basement think that funny horror stories based on fairy tales are really cool.
B: They are.
J: Well, just say that down in the trans-dimensional space behind the Dark Portal there’s a dearth of writers of such tales and certain long fanged citizens of said domain were on a secret mission into our world to kidnap writers of such stories and drag them back behind the Dark Portal. Wouldn’t that be fun?
A: Sounds amazing.
J: Where on the internet can people in this dimension find out more about you guys?
BLOGJ: Well thanks for visiting. The staff will take you down the basement now for the tour.
BARNES & NOBLE
& COMING SOON:
B: But we don’t want to take the tour.
J: You don't want to see the Dark Portal?
A: We’ve seen it.
J: But not from the other side.
A & B: Actually Johnny, we have. *exposes fangs* That’s why we’re here! *Lunges for Johnny’s neck*